As you may or may not already know, I was dreading this album a little bit. I love, fucking LOVE max and pretty much everything he has ever made, even while being called “fan girl”. But I honestly loved it all, not because it was him, but because, it was great.
But there was so much hype surrounding this album, mostly generated by Bemis himself, (his new twitter account made the once almost mysterious, crazy, awkward, front man, seem more real, approachable, less like the rock god i had painted him as). And once I read that it was going to have religious undertones, (since Bemis has apparently found God, and converted from judisim to catholisism) i was like “OH.NO.” Not knocking anyone else’s taste, but christian, or any preachy music is just not my thing.
Oh yeah and there’s no cursing. Is this a Will Smith album???
And there there was, ya know, the marriage. How can this guy write all this tormented shit if he’s now a husband, happy, and living in a cute house in texas? And how many love songs can I deal with dedicated to his new bride?
Then came the first songs. Hate Everyone came out and I didn’t HATE it, but I didn’t love it. I saw it almost as a bad sign of the direction of the record. TOO poppy. All it’s negativity sounded corny and almost as if it were another band trying to sound like Say Anything, or mocking them.Like I said, I didn’t hate it but I was afraid.
But once I read Max’s explanation of the song, that it’s a sarcastic tune, in which he acknowledges that hating everyone is ridiculous, but sometimes you just feel that way.
Then, tonight, a friend told me the album (most of it) was up and streaming on their myspace. With much trepidation, I listened to them. With tickets purchased for 3 shows next week, I had to know. I couldn’t wait. With the album already pushed back, I was anxious and worried, as if I were a parent waiting for my kid to come home with his report card.
And my opinion so far (after about 4 listens) … it’s good… and it might even be great. Like, really, really great.
But, it is not, NOT, “…is a real boy”. Hate that comparison yet, say anything fans? Ya know what? So do I.
This is the breaking point in human life, right here. But my whole life had been leading up to this, hadn’t it?
From day one it was like society was this violent, complicated dance and everybody had taken lessons but me. Knocked to the floor again and again, climbing to my feet each time, bloody and humiliated. Always met with disapproving faces, waiting for me to leave so I’d stop fucking up the party.
They wanted to push me outside, where the freaks huddled in the cold. Out there with the misfits, the broken, glazed-eye types who can only watch as the normals enjoy their shiny new cars and careers and marriages and vacations with the kids.
The freaks spend their lives shambling around, wondering how they got left out, mumbling about conspiracy theories and Bigfoot sightings. their encounters with the world are marked by awkward conversations and stifled laughter, hidden smirks and rolled eyes. And worst of all, pity.
Siting there on that night in April, I pictured myself getting shoved out there with them, the sound of doors locking behind me.
Welcome to freakdom, Dave. It’ll be time to start a Web site soon, where you’ll type out everything in one huge paragraph.
It was like dying.
”—David Wong [John Dies at the End Page 44] They call them quotes because you can’t say them any better yourself. (via xblindirony)
I love say anything. My absolute favorite band. but after reading this article, i’m actually pretty nervous about this new album. if i wanted to listen to creed, i would have gone to best buy last night.
Ok. What? Why would a modeldancer stripper be SOOO excited to be sprawled out on a bean bag chair. what was the mentality behind this ad? what did they hope you would think, “buy this product and girls will flock to you in skimpy weird outfits”? does she come with the beans???
I found this ad in a magazine and I had to go to the website. Ya know what? This fucking thing costs 400 bucks. 400. If I bought a bean bag chair and this gal wanted to take a nap, she’s for damn sure taking off those spiked heels. I don’t need a hole in that. do you know how much there would be to clean up? How many beans do you think that thing holds??? don’t answer that question. don’t even think about this.
It’s probably cliched to say that Fight Club is one of, it not, my favorite movies of all time. But fuck it, it’s awesome. Anytime I see Norton or Pitt, I can only see them in those roles. I have watched that movie countless times and it just never seems to get old. I even used it for a project in college where I literally had to watch every scene of the movie multiple times for like a week. I’m not exactly bragging, since it’s rather pathetic to admit one has watched anything this much. I’m sure it looks stellar on a resume though.
While I’m posting youtube machinima videos, might as well post my favorite one. I loved Portal, and in the opening they mention LOST and Halo 3 … So, yeah, this video is great for anyone who played this game.
My dear friend sent me a link to one of this guy’s videos on youtube. It’s all done with action figures and insanely low budget. I don’t know a whole lot about comics but enough that I found this really entertaining. If youre going to check it out, I recommend starting on the last page and working your way backwards. There are entire story arcs. i haven’t finished watching them all but its been super fun so far.
For the past few days this song has BURIED itself into my brain, making a nest, laying carpet, hanging photos of loved ones and pets, and pondering it’s own existence over a glass of wine. So I thought maybe I’d share it!
The band is Company of Thieves and the song is Oscar Wilde.
1. We have curves, and damnit, curves are sexy. We for the most part have really nice boobs/asses, and we all know how you boys like those.
2. We like to eat. Not saying we aren’t health conscious, but we do love to eat. This means that we can hang out with your buddies and keep up with you drinking (No, “Oh, I’m so drunk!” After one beer). Hell yes we will go get tacos with you at 1AM. Most of us really love to cook, and can cook really well because of our love of food. We love to try eating new things, we love trying to cook new things. This means more great food for you, boys!
3. Because we have not had to rely on our quintessential “Barbie looks” we are generally much more caring individualistic people. We also have had to strive much harder in life and are intelligent and hard working.
4. This also means that we are less likely to be stuck-up and we don’t judge people nearly as much based solely on their looks. We love nice things just like any girl, but we don’t have to parade around with a Prada bag and vanilla latte.
5. We are more self conscious. This of course can be a bad thing, but this can also be used to the male advantage. Because of this, we are more likely to be cleaner, better smelling individuals. We take more time to do these things, and we also know how to better accesorize, apply makeup better and look damn good.
6. We appreciate you more, because we know how awesome you are for being one of those guys who doesn’t care that his girlfriend is a size two. We recognize how wicked cool you are for loving us for us and not our body type.
7. We do better at child bearing. Yeah I know, you aren’t really thinking about that now, but with our kick ass wider hips we carry them babies like a boss.
8. We are perfectly fine staying home some nights and having movie marathons/ ice cream eating pigouts.
9. Have you seen our cleavage? It’s epic.
10. Because we are beautiful, inspiring individuals damnit.
Ahh… the Internet. Who hasn’t wanted to go fishing with dynamite and robot sharks that work for you? This game Dynamite Fisher 2 (so i’m assuming there was a 1) is all that and more. You chuck dynamite overboard and hope to blow up fish. Then you move your boat over them to collect them. Your total weight is weighed on the upper left side. You have a minute thirty to collect as many fish as you can. Trust me, it’s not enough time, and I think that’s what makes the game so addicting. Youre always like I CAN DYNAMITE FISH BETTER THAN THIS!!!
There are a few things that trip you up. For one, your competing with that selfish fucking black bird over on the right. The second you kill a fish, he goes after it. Asshole. And as if that weren’t enough, some of the other fish eat dead fish. But it’s cool cause a bad ass seagull comes and drops off shit like boat chargers and molotov cocktails and exploding toilets… yeah, awesome.
I tried to find a picture to liven up this post but I couldn’t. Just know the line “Is that fish SMOKIN?” is said.
On one insanely lucking round I got 214 pounds, but usually breaking 100 is a miracle. What score can YOU get?
(note: the game fucks up sometimes, and after a lot of play slows down. Just refresh the page.)
This happened back in March, for my birthday, but I really wanted to post it all together.
You see, a few friends and I are humungus nerds and we really love LOST. So, since my 25th birthday fell on a Wednesday, I decided to have a LOST themed gathering. Only a few people showed but it was worth it!
Here are some of the guests and who they are dressed as.
That’s me as Daniel Faraday. Yeeeaaah, I went as a dude. And I think I nailed it, except for the fact that I’m not that thin and lack certain anatomical parts.
Rich as Dr. Pierre Chang, aka Marvin Candle, aka Dr. Mark Wickmund, aka Dr. Edgar Halliwax. He was the star of the orientation video, or the part of LOST where shit started to get REALLY weird. We even made a parody video… I’ll show you later.
My cousin Cindy as Eloise Hawking. She’s holding a miniature version of the lamp post. It’s a Dharma station that uses a pendulum… ((at this point I’m starting to feel beyond nerdy))
Ian has the advantage of already kinda looking like his character choice, Desmond Hume. So, ya know, that’s what he chose.
This is Bill as the hobo themed Tom Friendly, who loved the cock. Bill couldn’t find a beard so he went with a giant mustache and tried to fake it.
Here is Gina and sarah as two versions of Claire. Gina’s version is episode specific, while Sarah is generic beach claire. And theres my dog … sniffing her leg.
ehh, he’s close enough.
We had a bunch of decorations too:
The countdown clock and the computer with “the button”. I made the clock, cause I have that kind of time to burn on stuff like this.
Hurley’s golf course.
Charlie … R.I.P. homie
Ok, they are a little different, but you get the point!
Al, the Dharma janitor … There is no Al in the show, not that we see anyway!
And then there was the NOM NOMS!
My awesome cake.
Fish biscuits (cookies)
Apollo chocolate, Dharma soda, coconuts, banana’s, and a mango… island classics.
Some Dharma chocolates too.
Have a Cluckity-Cluck-Cluck day.
Keeping the island people hydrated.
Here’s the whole crew.
And then there’s the video we made. Because I suck, I can’t find the original on my computer, but I did post it on the tube, so check it out.
My toolbar is filled with a bunch of websites that won’t help me get a job, but occasionally put a smile on my face. You guys most likely know Cyanide and Happiness, which is one of my faves. But just in case you may have missed it, Amazing Super Powers is pretty great too. They don’t update as often as C&H but they are fuuuun. Be sure to look out for the SUPER SECRET COMICS TOO!!!!! ((hover to the top right, just outside the strip)) And there is even a little extra when you let the mouse just hover above the main comic.
I was strolling through Target yesterday when my eyes locked onto three boxes that reached deep inside my past and pulled at my childhood heart strings. The General Mills monster cereals… Count Chocula, Frankenberry, and Boo Berry. So just like any 25 year old, I raced my friend across the store at full sprint to grab all three boxes, and grasp onto them as if anyone, at any given moment, would pop out of the clothing racks and wrestle me for them… despite the entire shelf of them available to the next customers. I brought them home and lined them up and looked proudly down on my newest trophies. But something wasn’t right. Something was never right this time of year, when I invite these guests in. Someone was missing.
Please tell me you people remember Yummy Mummy… PLEASE!
He wasn’t even discontinued that long ago. In 1993 in fact. I was probably in third grade! I asked a few friends and the results were mixed. Some remembered that there was another character, but couldn’t quite place what it was, while other remember there was a mummy involved, but couldn’t get specific. One person didn’t even remember Frankenberry or Boo Berry, despite the fact that they are still around (at least in October)…. yikes.
So I was curious. Why did Yummy Mummy disappear? So to the internet I went. My search’s first stop was Wikipedia where I found…. what’s this?? This can’t be right…. ANOTHER victim of the monster cereal genre????
WHAT?!?! I have NO memory of this guy. What is he, a werewolf? Why is he trying to save me money on orange juice and lucky charms? Not very werewolfy of him. Maybe that’s why he didn’t last. Nobody likes a pussy wolf.
His legacy was limited between the years of 1974 to 1983. (I wasn’t even born yet so I’ll give myself a pass.) General Mills discontinued the Brute after poor sales (I haven’t confirmed that, except for random people saying this is so around the internet… are you really going to hold it against me?) and poor sales aren’t that hard to believe once you find out this guys flavor. His non-marshmallows were fruit flavored, whils his marshmallows were LIME flavored. Gag me the fuck out. No wonder he didn’t stick around very long.
But what of my beloved Yummy Mummy?
Why did he fall behind? He too was fruit flavored with vanilla marshmallows. Is there really no market for that?… Why do I care so much?
I don’t know. But hey, at least I’m not the only one!
Granted they don’t spent a lot of time discussing their plan to begin the yummy-mummy revolution. Mostly they talk about nothing relevant, including pedobears and racism. But hey, it’s a start! (I think). And look, other people REMEMBER!
Good god I hope they all got laid that night … except for the count… that looks to easy and he reminds me of this creepy guy I knew in college.
And from what I’m reading, Yummy Mummy and that pussy werewolf can actually still be found in the merchandising for General Mills monster cereals. Apparently these are still kicking around somewhere.
So why should you care? The short answer is… you shouldn’t. It probably tasted like shit anyway.
FUN FACT: According to Wiki “FrankenBerry was very popular when first introduced possibly because the initial batches of the cereal used a dye that didn’t break down in the body, causing many children’s feces to be bright pink, a symptom sometimes referred to as ‘Frankenberry Stool.’” … Awesome
Like I’ve mentioned, sometimes (always) I can’t sleep. So I can often be found going to various websites to play free online games that will kill time till the sand man creeps in and throws me a fucking bone. I’d like to share some of these games with yoooou!
The star of our game is an adorable penguin who is annoyed by the fact that he and his brethren cannot take flight. So, throw a series of achievements he is able to build better and better paper plane hang gliders (strapped to his back), and attach rockets to his sides. His ultimate goal is to reach 6,000 feet.
The game is a little repetitive and I remember the first time I played it I got a little annoyed because I couldn’t hit that 6000 mark. The music is one big loop which can get annoying but I barely noticed it since I was so focused on getting this guy to fly. But he’s so adorable and so determined. The ending is kind of a WHAT-THE-FUCK?! but I still recommend.
The next game is a little more violent but who gives a shit? It’s stick figures!
Stick War is exactly what it sounds like. Stick figures going to war with one another. There are different clans os stick figures, all with different powers. Everytime you beat one, you gain their abilities. There are spartan like warriors, mages, even giants. Oh yeah, and there’s stick carnage too.
You are the black sticks battling the red sticks. I could literally sit here and tell you the best strategies to use for every level and you’d still end up pulling your hair out by the roots. This game is difficult but it’s addictive. Even after I beat it, I went back and played again…and again…and again. So, ya know, be careful.
The last game is a zombie game. I played this a while ago and never fucking beat it. I played it for hours and hours. I literally was afraid to even mention it for fear it’s drawing power would suck me back in. The evilness is titled Zombie Assualt.
There is even a zombie assault 2 but I don’t wanna know anything about it! The basic premise is you are holed up in this house with wooden boards over the entrances. The zombies will break down these boards and come after you. You can repair the boards and even upgrade them to steel etc. You also get a gun, and can shoot the zombies before they even touch your stuff. The game gets insane. Giant spider looking things and guys with glowing hands show up (and some of them can destroy your barricades for good) You can eventually set up turrets and get cool guns, but none of it matters.
Once the giant insect things and the opera singer looking chicks show up, it’s only a matter of time. I found a picture of this opera fat lady chick … I’m guessing that’s what she is anyway… I pointed her out so you all can see a zombie fat lady opera singer.
Seriously, what is that?!?!
Is there even a way to beat this game?? Apparently so: